Like most women in comic books, these days my breasts are looking exceedingly…exceeding. I’ve always been a card-carrying member of the IBTC, so the mutations happening below my neck have been quite surprising. While standing up straight has definitely become more challenging, low cut tops now operate as mind control devices for unsuspecting men. (Well, at least my husband.)
I’m told they’re still down there. I haven’t seen them in weeks.
Infinite Subsonic Flatulence
Just as smelly as regular farts, these have the additional bonus of being able to last for minutes at a time and capitalize on the element of surprise. That’s right. If I’m standing next to you, it’s probably happening, but they’re so quiet, you won’t know until you get hit with a solid wall of stink that will knock you unconscious.
No enemy can get their hands on me! The delicate sheen of lady sweat I’m constantly covered in ensures I can slip out of even the tightest grip.
Chunky Nasal Blast
My nasal passages are always filled and at the ready with large chunks of mucous, just waiting to be unleashed on unsuspecting tissues and nemeses alike.
Did you develop any unusual super powers while you were expecting?
* Image by Jess Jennings