Disorientation and confusion are common as is short-term memory loss. This lasts approximately for the first year. There’s a nasty rumor going around that it doesn’t ever go away until your kids are 20.
Feeling inadequate and inexperienced is not only normal; it will intensify, as your child gets older. Remember to pretend to be adequate and experienced because babies can smell fear.
It’s okay to let your baby sleep while you do things for you. It’s also okay to hold your baby whenever you want to.
I highly recommend making your partner take feeding shifts in the late evenings or at night. Any protest can be quickly silenced with the fact that they did not labor this thing out of their body. If that does not work, kicking usually gets them moving.
Baby girls can surprisingly pee very high. They are also known to have frequent sneak pee attacks; usually at 2am somewhere between the closing of the diaper and the buttoning of the pajamas. Discovery of soaked pajamas causes brief sadness resulting in yet another diaper change.
You do not have to change your baby every time they spit up on themselves. I did this. I had a lot of laundry. It nearly killed me.
It’s absolutely okay to have no idea how many weeks your baby is without a calendar or counting on your fingers. After eight weeks I wouldn’t even bother. Just say 2 months. It’s easier for everyone.
Mother Nature didn’t really equip you with the ability to just know what your baby needs. It’s completely normal to have absolutely no idea how to distinguish your baby’s cries until a couple months have passed. Just remember the diaper goes on the lower end and you’ll be fine.
You know you have graduated the first few weeks when you go out and your partner asks, “What’s on your shirt?” Without even blinking you utter, “Baby poo.” The sad reality is that you will say it like it’s the most normal thing in the world to have fecal matter on your clothing.
Enjoy your newborn because they do grow fast and before you know it you have a toddler; and toddlers do NOT stay in the same place you put them before you leave the room. Pets be warned.
About the author:
This post was written by my super awesome and hilarious friend Christina.