One of the hardest things about being a new mom for me has been accepting my new body. I haven’t lost my baby weight, and probably won’t until after I stop breastfeeding, because I’m worried about crashing my supply if I start up the exercise and diet regimen I know I’m going to need to get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Because I’m not anywhere close to my pre-pregnancy weight, I’ve had to buy new clothes, and I’m still relying on maternity clothes to get me through the week. I’m sleep-deprived and rarely have time to do anything with myself. In summary: I don’t feel like I have much to like right now.
I hate that I feel this way. I’m a big believer that you should love how you look no matter what, but for the last several months–even before I had the baby–I’ve felt beaten down, frumpy, dated, and above all, very uncool. I look like someone’s mom. And, okay, okay, I know I actually am someone’s mom, but if I am, do I have to look like these people? (Aside: If you aren’t watching Up All Night, you should be.)
When it came time to get a haircut, I knew I could be safe and get a haircut that was similar to the one I’d had for the last several months. Maybe with a little more fringe or a little more swoop, but ultimately, it was going to be the same mom haircut I’d had forever, and I was sick to death of my mom hair. I wanted to do something completely different, and maybe, if only just a little, help shake up all of those yuck feelings I’ve had about how I look. Bonus points if it was going to be something I’d actually have time to fix in the mornings, in between packing up the 20 bags that have to go to work with me and helping to get the baby ready for the day.
So I did this:
And you know what? I actually feel a lot better about myself. For one, I don’t think I look like someone’s mom. Or if I do, then I’m a mom who hasn’t totally given up on herself. It may be months before I can do anything serious about the baby weight, and it may be years before I’m getting enough sleep. I don’t have to be miserable with how I look, though, in the meantime.
Thank you, pixie cut, for getting me out of my body image rut.
Erin says
July 3, 2012 at 11:41 amAdorable! You look like someone’s cool mom. 🙂
I struggled a lot more with body image and being able to feel cool/sexy the first time around (maybe because I had farther to fall? haha). It took me so long to be able to mesh my mommy identity with the rest of me, but I got there eventually. It wasn’t just how attractive I thought I looked, but just not feeling like myself… I guess because I HAD changed and had to get to know the new me, inside and out.
Katie says
July 3, 2012 at 11:47 amHaha, thanks! You’re so right about the not feeling like myself part. It *isn’t* just how I look, although that’s probably the easiest part to fixate on. There’s just so much to sort through, generally not really feeling comfortable in my own skin, and I feel like I don’t have any time at all really *to* figure it out.
Hotpotatokate says
July 3, 2012 at 2:02 pmYou look amazing! Very young (caveat: haven’t gone back far enough to see any pre-baby pics)
I feel exactly the same- I gained LOADS and breastfeeding has had the same effect on me. I’m actually on weight watchers now, and the weight is slooooooowly coming off without any noticeable impact on my already patchy supply- basically, it helps me reach for an apple instead of a snack bar or similar a couple of times a day!
Katie says
July 3, 2012 at 4:22 pmAw, thanks! 🙂 Weight Watchers is a great idea. I may resort to that if weight doesn’t start coming off soon. As it is, I think I’m just going to start giving myself some reasonable weekly goals (this week: no sodas, no chocolate, no fast food) and try to implement those. I really need to be back in the gym, but the idea of enough time opening up in my schedule for that to happen is a total joke.
Marion says
July 5, 2012 at 2:09 amI guess that most moms are really affected with that issue, especially if it is their first born.
The most important factor here is to have a very supportive group of people behind you so that you will be assured that you still look good.